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Taxes – no joke

Fewer times during the year are more stressful than tax time. And the more uncertainty (aka “how much will I owe”), the more stress. I was always taught by a lady very dear to me that the way to combat stress is to interject a little humor. That being the case, here’s a couple pieces of late night jocularity to pack away for those dark days in April. Warning: some may appear to be jokes on the outside, but inwardly have the appearance of common sense.

“I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“So, it’s pretty crazy. Look, we’re bailing out Wall Street, we’re bailing out banks, we’re bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there’s a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?” –Jay Leno

“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” –Craig Ferguson

“The IRS says it’s been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge of implementing it. They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS’s ability to threaten people.” –Jay Leno

“A new report found that 700 IRS employees owe a combined $5.4 million in back taxes. When IRS workers got the news, they said, ‘Oh man, I hope I don’t find out about this!'” –Jimmy Fallon

“In Colorado, voters have approved a tax on marijuana to fund the building of schools. In other words, kids don’t do drugs but stay in the schools funded by them.” –Conan O’Brien

And finally, one from the famous Anonymous. A ‘slight tax increase’ costs you about $300, while a ‘substantial tax cut’ lowers your taxes by about $30.” How true, how true.

Mark Schuster, Partner

November 19, 2013

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